'Whatever!' That is my catch phrase for the day. I am tired of some people that are just tired ass pains in the culo! Ah, I just needed to get that out. Anyway, I talked to one of my friends and it turns out that visiting is not probably likely bc her family may be coming to visit. She kind of indirectly told me she won't be home so don't bother coming to visit. So, It looks like I'll just be working extra so I can go on a trip by myself and just think about life and what it has to offer. I don't know what I'm going to do as far as the next step in my career. I got into schools I thought I'd never get into and I don't feel like that's my calling. I thought it would make me happy or 'passionate' about going in another direction in my life but it hasn't. People think I'm crazy and they seem more enthused than I do right now. I just remember being so happy in high school when I wanted to be a fashion merchandiser and just 'shop all day' for work. I still think about that and Interior decorating and then I think, oh yeah, I can't afford to just shift gears mid-career and 'throw away' 3/4ths of a career that I actually enjoy. I don't know, maybe I'm 'burned out' and I need to change careers entirely and then come back after a few years of rest. The only thing is, I can't afford to do that, I talk about this constantly because it's a simple fact but nevertheless, oh so true. I have been telling people that this is my last year (2003-04) and that I'm deferring for a year so I can pay bills and then go to school full-time. Maybe I really need to focus and do that and see if it 'pans out'. All I know is that I am drifting in a directionless pattern as far as what the future holds. I know that tomorrow and yesterday are not guaranteed and only today is certain. I forget who said this but I know I've quoted this saying before today. It really holds true but yet I still need to live my life one day at a time. I really do ruminate too damn much and I need to just not worry so damn much but sometimes it's all I can do.

Song of the day: Mala Gente-Juanes...

'Tu me pides que to dejo, ahorra, ahorra cuando ya no te olvido...'

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